There now that that's out of the way.....what had happened was:
A group of fellow travel writers and I were visiting a Mayan village in rural Tulum, Mexico and everything started off great. I was looking forward to an afternoon of cultural exchange and nature. I didn't realize what an intimate view I would experience. Our tour bus pulled into the village and to our surprise there were two Spider monkeys tied to a tree. The other writers immediately let out cries of protest about the inhumanity of their treatment as the two little monkeys inspired by their concern shivered and wrapped their arms around themselves. They looked utterly helpless and yeah even I can admit it now....utterly adorable.
In hindsight, I must say, I'm from Detroit, I should have sensed the scam a mile away!
One of the writers, I'll call her "Georgia Peach" declared in her sweetest voice, "All they need is love!" With that she scooped up a monkey and cradled him in her arms as the rest of the press group lovingly snapped photos.
Encouraged by this display, MY photographer suggested/(set me up) that I pose with the remaining monkey. Let me just say, I was raised in a concrete jungle so I get no joy out of interactions with live animals, people are sometimes scary enough. So I wasn't too keen or excited about my impromptu photo shoot. However, against my better judgment, I crouched down and things quickly went down hill!
You see, after the second snap, Mr monkey reached out his hand to me and beckoned his little monkey fingers for me to take his hand. He was walking towards the bush at the time and wanted me to follow. When I refused, he became enraged (like many men, he didn't take rejection well) and jumped on my shoulder and tried to steal my wig!
Now, I didn't have any other hair pieces in Mexico so I fought bravely to save my divadom. (I couldn't be in Mexico without my hair piece!)
During this exchange Georgia peach also experienced monkey rage when she tried to put down her monkey who in turn grabbed her by the neck and screamed in her face!
As we both simultaneously were being attacked you would think our fellow breathen would have come to our assistance but noooooooo. This group stuck to their journalistic duties and became a bevy of paparazzi to capture a digitally play by play for all to enjoy leaving me to be rescued by our driver who laughed at me as well.
So there you have it friends, Heed my warning, don't get too close to nature! It can be bad for your health and most importantly, your hair piece!